Wednesday, January 28, 2009
Sunday, January 11, 2009
Explain it.
It's like a fire within me that doesn't seem to go out.
and is it returned?
No, it's shunned, it's looked upon as a disease, and as am I.
then why do you persist?
Because it hasn't always been this way.
and you believe that it will return to the way it was?
No.
I read "The Naming" again, it was amazing per usual.
I'm thinking about reading a classic now.
Made a new friend, really awesome kid, with a really awesome name.
God and I are never on the same page, he always seems to be just a few pages ahead of me, and although I should find that comforting, I usually just view it as disheartening.
I don't want to be as good as he is by any means.
I just want to feel as if he trusts me,
as if SOMEONE, anyone, trusts me.
My hair is getting super long, which I hoped would some how make me prettier, but my best friend still seems to think that I fall second, and we're both "screwed" although she doesn't really care if she is, she didn't aspire for it anyways.
"These things are just what I have to learn to live with."
I hate your logic.
and is it returned?
No, it's shunned, it's looked upon as a disease, and as am I.
then why do you persist?
Because it hasn't always been this way.
and you believe that it will return to the way it was?
No.
I read "The Naming" again, it was amazing per usual.
I'm thinking about reading a classic now.
Made a new friend, really awesome kid, with a really awesome name.
God and I are never on the same page, he always seems to be just a few pages ahead of me, and although I should find that comforting, I usually just view it as disheartening.
I don't want to be as good as he is by any means.
I just want to feel as if he trusts me,
as if SOMEONE, anyone, trusts me.
My hair is getting super long, which I hoped would some how make me prettier, but my best friend still seems to think that I fall second, and we're both "screwed" although she doesn't really care if she is, she didn't aspire for it anyways.
"These things are just what I have to learn to live with."
I hate your logic.
Friday, January 9, 2009
Not my middle name.
I'm not sure what's going on with me these days, I've got an awesome job, and an awesome family, but I just can't seem to get things in order. I'm pregnant, and could care less what the ultrasound is going to look like. [[actually it isn't that I don't care, it's just that I don't want to see it.]] And I want to give it up for adoption but I keep putting off talking to prospective parents, and I won't eat, and I'm STILL not registered for school. I'm more interested in writing "The complete works of the Old Testament abridged" Which is good, but not all at the same time.
I need time to figure things out, and I just can't seem to find it.
=/
I need time to figure things out, and I just can't seem to find it.
=/
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